Back At It

(The bottle, in case you were confused as to what 'it' was.)

After a lengthy hiatus, I've decided to give the ol' blog another go. As predicted, I got lazy, and quit. Surprised? Who's surprised? Quitting things is my MO.

Since the fall, I have made some changes, albeit small and ultimately inconsequential.

I joined GoodLife. Ugh. I know. I know. I already prefer the Ottawa clubs though, people look normal here. I also acquired a personal trainer thanks to a friend's generosity (see: my friends must also think I'm fat).

I uh, also...

Okay, so two changes. Two. And not surprisingly, nothing has really happened. No results. I don't feel better. I don't look better. In fact, I feel worse.

Why? How about a little anecdote?

Last night (please note that last night was a Wednesday night), I bought a case of beer.

Some chums came over. 

And we drank it all.

Okay, so at least no one was killed. Unless you count millions upon millions of brain cells. But what possesses three adults to drink like a bunch of Germans at Oktoberfest on a week night?

This morning at about 7 a.m. was a hellish nightmare of Biblical proportions. I literally thought I was going to die. Since I've been up, I've ingested more Advil than food. I've been experiencing the phenomenon known as 'the hangover spins'. My cats have been giving me the stink eye, which begs the question: did one of us throw up on them?

Drinking beer (see: pounding pints all the f*cking time) is not condusive to healthy living. Thanks Captain Obvious.

On the real, I have to cut this out. And by 'this', I mean my increasingly alarming binge drinking habit.

BBC's Radio 1 website has a fantastic gadget called the Booze Calculator that really puts things into perspective. Let's assess the damage, shall we? 

Okay, so last night I drank 8 beers (what? shut up. I'm a girl). That equaled:

• 18 units of alcohol.
• This is 128% of the weekly recommended intake for a woman (14 units).
• I ingested approximately 1600 calories, or the food equivalent of
• 2 slices of pizza
• 3 donuts
• 2 pastries 
• 1 burger
• It is going to take 18 hours for the alcohol to leave my system (only 6 more to go at the time of posting!)

So as you can all see, it's fairly obvious what needs to be done here.

Just kidding.

Stay tuned.